yo-yo crazy

And here's how it went.
-insert running commentary type voice-
Hmm.. sitting.. waiting. I think I was 11th on the list? So by the time it was me (probably a one hour wait) I was sleepy, stoned and cold.
Cold fingers are a BIG no-no for violin. For some reason, its just impossible to play when it feels like someones stuffed straw into your fingers and you're trying to control your fingers like a puppeteer.

Anyways, I was pretty nervous. The sinking, swirling type feeling in my stomach started when Michelle before me started playing and got worse as she finished. And the crazy heart beating. And the clammy cold fingers.

Then it was my turn! =)

And guess what? I went pretty good. I got probably 99.9% of the notes, I rushed only a little bit, I nailed most of the hard bits and all in all, quite a satisfactory performance. All with my legs feeling like jelly :L

So I was pretty satisfied with that. The nervous feeling was replaced with a smug type feeling and .. it hit disaster point when I got up for Beethoven.

Beethoven was a disaster. Utterly. I think I should be very worried instead of happy that I don't feel nervous. Of the two, Beethoven is definitely easier to play. But all the notes came out wrong and it sounded so amateur! Not to mention the mistakes I made. I'd say a grand total of 6 or so?
I could almost FEEL Mr Mou's forehead wrinkling up in a frown.
I came in early, came in late..
Only good thing about it was my speed.
And here comes Mr Mou's famous speech.
"It was good enough...
but
Your rhythm was bad, missing a few notes maybe?, intonation wasn't controlled, sound a bit rough, vibrato was too stiff, bow wasn't straight, etc."

-sigh-
I had Mr Mou this morning too. So he did another disappointed speech whilst I was half asleep T___T"
The lesson didn't go too bad though.

AND THEN,
I had Ms Yang (piano accompanist) after. So two lectures in a day (:
Worked on the dynamics mainly, tried to figure out what went wrong in the Beethoven.

In conclusion.

Don't you ever get annoyed, when you CAN do something; you've tried and practised so hard at home. Then when you go show it off to someone, you can't do it. And they're skeptical and unimpressed and all that time and dedication you put into it got wasted.
Not annoyed for me though, just super disappointed. :(

So I guess my summary for this week is,
I need to practise heaps more for violin
-groan-

2009-05-10
2:20 p.m.
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