i have a dream...

I have a dream�that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged�
- Martin Luther King

I had a dream, that I was at a posh dinner party, and that I was being arrested. I had written a controversial socialist essay, published, condemned the government. They were here to take me away and lock me up.
I was offered a chance to redeem myself, to retract my statement, to denounce my beliefs and soil my integrity.
I looked around at those sitting around me, dressed in magnificent attire. No one made eye contact, and those who did were apologetic.
Cowards. Weak, spineless bastards.
I was shipped to jail, and so It goes.
Amongst other denounced intelligentsia, we protested and rebelled.

Perhaps it is the Milan Kundera, but I thought it was an apt, if not a bit crude, metaphor for my jaded perspective.
I drown, oh I drown. I drown in the filth and wreckage of grotesque plastic masks, gag on the disgusting stench of hypocrisy and betrayal. Claws of superficiality tear and rake through my skin, and soulless ghouls devour my flesh greedily.
And it is judgement, never ending judgement. Prosecution and cross examination, constantly under the scrutiny of the giant magnifying glass, poised to incinerate.
This is the shit I see around me, that others wallow obliviously in with such satisfaction.

�Be nice�
�Gosh, stop being mean�
�You�re so slack�

What is nicety? Does it bespeak of strength and nobility of character, courage and loyalty in friendship, love and compassion in humanity?
No, it does not. It is empty illusion that somehow is insisted upon. And yet reluctantly, I am forced to conclude that my friends, and the world, have no other such worldly values. No substance, no beauty, no conviction. And that is why I tire of the world and its pretensions, its over-exaggerated caricatures of politeness. Does it not see the ridicule? All around me is simply piles and piles of rotting carcass and I am told to eat it up.

I love my friends. I thought love was supposed to set you free. But apparently, it corners you, chains you down, and forces you to eat rotting carcass.

I have a dream�that I will one day live in a world where I will not be judged for the asshole that I am�

2011-03-02
10:50 p.m.

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