we are only human
It is so raw and bleeding; the maw of hell tearing me up from the inside. I want to howl in pain, bare my teeth to the heavens and curse the skies.
It's hard to breathe. There is not enough oxygen in the air. I choke them out in gasps and pants. There is no more reason, there is no more logic. Just a swirl of feeling, battering my closed eyes from all directions like a lone stack in a mighty storm. It thunders and crashes, the overwhelming weight of a tsunami.
When I open my eyes, the storm recedes. But the gashes are still bleeding, it will kill me slowly from inside.
I have held it at arms length. Distanced myself, coldly told myself it means nothing to me, that I feel fine to everyone.
But, like an elastic band that I have struggled to keep stretched, it would inevitably snap back.
I care. I do care.
I love, so much.
But what is done, is done. I have murdered it, strangled it to death with my bare hands. And there is no one to blame but myself.
I am so sorry.
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