change

I was .. apprehensive at first actually. I was scared of who I used to be, afraid that the parts I hated about myself would show up in my writing.

Actually, I was wrong.

I was a decent enough person actually. Not too much obscene language, I had the wonderful viewpoint which I can never recover, which stays only in my memories. I remember thinking this, thinking that, or finding out that I was horribly wrong.

I was amazed that I wasn't superficial or materialistic. That was what I was most afraid of. Of being so near sighted I couldn't see the bigger picture. How scary is that? Living your entire life seeing one brush stroke and missing its part in the giant painting of life. Would I have wasted 3 years of my life being materialistic?

How about now? Am I looking at the whole picture? I don't think so. I think I've got a decent square but.

Before in year 7, we were so concerned with sounding "emo," as if it was an obligation to be happy all day. I've learnt now that that's not the case. Ying yang, Newton's Third Law, etc. Opposites exist in life. And that is the same with life. Wouldn't life be boring if you were happy all the time? There would be no depth, no meaning to living. No memories, nothing to learn from either.

Being "emo" is what helps us develop as a person, find out who we are, and build the foundations for our main belief in life. Without this, we might as well just give up on life. Being emo isn't something to be embarrassed about. Being emo is about thinking. Being emo is about taking a step away from having our noses pressed against the picture and appreciating it in full. Being emo is about wisdom and growth.

2009-05-22
11:01 p.m.
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